Okay, that one was my fault.


Predators do not see their victims as people, but as resources. Who you are has no more emotional weight than the wrapper his hamburger came in. –Rory Miller

Saturday no-gi in Kirkland. I was late for the second day in a row, and Cindy had given us a lecture about the disrespect of lateness yesterday. 😦

Morning of moving heavy things across the yard and up a flight of stairs to garage storage. In fact I have been doing an hour or two of this most mornings for a while, and will be continuing to do so till I get all my stuff moved.

Pummeling, pummel games (ie, try to get double-unders and hoist your partner), downblocks. I am terrible at downblocks, and worse when we start doing downblock games- ie, snatch at your partner’s knees while s/he tries to downblock on the side you’re snatching. I just cannot cope with my left and right, especially when people start doing cross-reaches. Note that it is not necessary to touch the mat with the hand.

Meathooks behind the head, elbow on breastbone, controlling. Inside and outside ties. Note that you should be gripping the bicep, not the forearm. When I do an outside tie, my hand wants to go naturally to the forearm just below the elbow, and I need to remember to consciously correct this each time. The palm should be up in a cupping pose. Dragging opponent down a few times, then letting opponent pop up while you drop to knee and go for double-leg.

Same sequence we did yesterday. Note that on this double-leg, I continue to fail to penetrate far enough in (drop knee between opponent’s feet). I also (STILL!!) fail to get back to the feet after the grab- for some reason my monkey-brain is convinced that it’s a good idea to try to double-leg a standing opponent from my knees. I’m embarrassed and frustrated that Cindy has gone over this detail with me a Brazillion times and I still keep messing it up. Perhaps it would help to visualize the mat as hot when I drop my knee on it- impetus to pop back up instantly. Cindy also reminds me to use my head more as a lever- tip the person rather than trying to lift them up.

She said that I need to have some coffee or something…. Anything to get a damn move on (my words, not hers) and stop being so ponderous in no gi (well, stop being slow and ponderous period, but especially in no-gi). “Worry less about potential problems and focus on the problem you have right now.” Ie, I continue to be too conservative and want to cling and stall in bottom half guard. I was trapped on the bottom a lot again today, and I think she’s more tired of looking at that than I am of living it. I am so tired all the time. By the end of drills- especially if we’ve been doing something with a lot of get-up-get-down, like takedowns or standing passes- I feel like a dishrag. Is this going to get worse and worse with age?

We did some takedown-sparring involving changing levels and moving the hands around to try to confuse/pattern the opponent before going in for the double leg. They were chivvying me to be more mobile and more aggressive. This was when I palm-heeled poor Dave in the nose. I felt so bad. It wasn’t about the aggression- I was just exhausted, and as I learned a long time ago, when I get too exhausted I get sloppy and start hurting people.

Knees hurt today from the stairs and all the up-and-down in class. Lots of bruising on insides of knees and on lower legs- I had noticed this on Thursday as well. Bad enough to wake me up several times as I tossed and turned.