They say there’s peace if you can relinquish desire. For me desire’s absence has only left a dull persistent ache. An insistant humming insectile silence. A lonely house in the woods. But perhaps the lesson is that I never relinquished desire, and that’s why there has been no peace. –Leah Stewart
Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue. Brazilian Buffet- all spars. I was all about the keylocks today, got them repeatedly on multiple people.
It took some fast talking, but I finally got Lindsay back in. She was so worried that she’d get breast milk or pee on me. I had to reassure her repeatedly that I didn’t care. I brought extra clothes, and both of those things wash off. It was so nice to work with her again. We did the first spar together and then we did another few at the end. I really hope she gets in more. I miss her.
I was a total weight bully with Amy. I felt bad about it, but I knew that if I tried to go easier on her, she’d tap me every 3 seconds, and that would not please either of us.
Still largely on point with the diet. One Dr Pepper today. I might let myself have one more. I was happy that I was able to perform adequately at class with such a tiny breakfast. The only thing that happened was that I started getting a headache on the way home from class. I thought I had had enough water, but it still might have been dehydration rather than low glucose.