Tactics In Home Security; or, Everybody’s Going To See Your Hoo-ha Anyway

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In addition to physical confrontations, symbolic forms of fighting between reality and individual desires are the daily bread of anyone who is alive. The physical violence that the hero … has to deal with is the most dramatic example of something that everyone experiences in daily life: conflict. Conflict with friends, lovers, people who cut you off in traffic. Internal conflict with one’s laziness, weakness and lack of discipline. Conflict between desires and possibilities. Conflict between dreams and closed doors. Conflict between one’s ideals and ones’ behavior. Heraclitus was right when he said that conflict is at the root of all things. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

So I had an “unplanned security drill” yesterday, when my home security system alarmed. Turns out that it was the motion sensor in the ground floor of the garage, which is the same sensor that gave an apparent false alarm a few weeks ago. In both cases, no evidence of any intruder could be found- so I’m making an appt for a technician to come out and adjust the sensitivity of that sensor downward.

I’m unhappy that this occurred during my work rotation, because it resulted me being woken up (after having taken a melatonin) in the middle of the day, and of course my insomniac self was not going to be able to get back to sleep after that brou-ha-ha. But since it did happen, let’s dissect this “drill” for lessons to be learned. It made me think through a number of things that I ought to have thought through earlier so as to be better prepared. Next time I will be better prepared.

The good: My reaction time was surreal. There was no sleep-fuzzled “Whafuck???” moment. I instantly knew exactly where I was, what the cacophony was, what I had to do, and where my gun was. I was immediately fully lucid, whipping the covers off, rolling to my feet, seizing the gun, and whirling toward the door in much less time than it takes to tell. I was very adrenalized but my mind and body were fully functional and ready for anything- including shooting someone to death, if it came to that. No shakes, mental white noise, indecision, none of that. There was fear, which was clinically acknowledged and then placed on the shelf. I was good to go.

The bad: I ran out without my glasses. I wasted a precious two seconds debating and then decided that getting them in hand and unfolded and on my face would require too much time and fumbling, and maybe even putting down the gun momentarily (which was NOT going to happen).

Improvement point: from now on, place glasses UNFOLDED on bedside table and put them on in between “roll to feet” and “seize gun” steps. I really am so much more competent at EVERYTHING when I can see.

Improvement point 2: It is probably worth it to take an extra few seconds while in the reasonably defensible position of the upstairs bedroom to double-check my grip on the gun. I tend to not choke up high enough on the grip- especially with my left hand- when I first pick it up. If I have to shoot, there’s not going to be time to correct the grip at THAT juncture, and it may be enough to ruin the shot. I have a revolver, with only five shots, and I understand that it’s easy and common to panic and empty the gun immediately. I need to keep my cool. Count each bullet and make each bullet count. (Wow. That’s good.)

The good: the cats, for the most part, remained frozen in place and refrained from rocketing around and getting underfoot (or in blind, elderly Teddy’s case, tumbling ass over teakettle down the stairs to land in a broken and dying heap at the bottom, which would have been extremely distracting).

The good: I was in my nightshirt. Why is this good, you ask? I once had a heated debate with a colleague who had heard a suspicious noise in the middle of the night, and got up to scramble into her clothes.

Kitsune: “Are you nuts? You didn’t go for a weapon first? You’d rather meet an attacker clothed and unarmed than naked and holding a weapon???????!!??? What the hell is wrong with you?”   Frustratingly, she didn’t see the logic, and no doubt would make the same choice again.

What’s wrong with our culture (WOMEN in our culture) that they would make that choice? What the bloody fuck do you think having your jeans on is going to do to deter the guy who just broke into your house to rape and murder you????!!!????? Why would you not want to spend those precious seconds- maybe YOUR LAST- looking around for something- anything- you could HIT him with? (This is assuming you are too much of a sheep to have a loaded gun by your bed.) Hell, your nudity might distract him long enough for you to get the first strike.

Everybody’s going to get a look at your hoo-ha anyway after the Bad Guy RAPES you and leaves your nude CORPSE lying on the floor. SHEESH.  Think about this, ladies. Don’t be an idiot. Cast your blushing modesty to the winds and grab a fucking baseball bat and defend yourself.

Needless to say, this was not an issue for me.

The good: Early on, this thought went through my mind: “It’s broad daylight, and I’ve already had a false alarm from that garage sensor. Odds are high that this is a false alarm,” Yet I proceeded as if it was real. I think I would have treated it as even more real had it been the middle of the night and had there not been a recent false alarm…. but still, I took it seriously. It’s stupid to put in a security system and then not take it seriously. You might dismiss something as a false alarm, and the next thing you know, the Bad Guy is standing over your dying body.

The bad: That “middle of the night” thing…. this bugs me to admit, but let’s get real. I work mostly nights, I’m not (usually) scared of the dark or anything, but my sneaking suspicion is that I will be terrified shitless if this same thing happens at 2:30am.

Not being able to see when faced with an opponent/attacker intimidates me. This is a fact well established in my long history of training all sorts of MA.

I like Stephen King, I like Nightmare On Elm Street, I’ve looked up all the sex offenders in my new neighborhood to see what they look like and where they live and exactly what they did. The victim-in-the-dark-house mentality is deeply ingrained in our society. As much as I like to try to be all hardass and One-With-The-Night, if I’m going to be terrified shitless with an alarm going off at 2am, I’d rather face that and prepare for it as best I can instead of living in denial and getting unpleasantly surprised with the extra element of impairment when/if the time comes.

While I’ve been out and about at night alone- even in not-so-good places- and felt comfortable with that, It’s always given me a vulnerable feeling to be in a lit building alone at night- especially in a remote area- because I feel like I’m exposed on a lighted stage while anyone could be lurking in the dark all around and preparing an attack. I feel that if my alarm goes off in the middle of the night, it’s really a better strategic decision to leave the lights off. I know the house, and a theoretical attacker doesn’t. I won’t be able to hear clues to his whereabouts due to the shrieking alarm- but then, he won’t be able to hear me either.

To this end, I had already stashed a flashlight in the drawer of my bedside table. After this incident, though, I think I am going to make a (n Improvement) point of placing my REAL tactical Surefire flashlight on my bedside table (*on* it, not in the drawer) beside my (unfolded) glasses and my gun. 

(Note also that I need to find a local supplier for the expensive exotic lithium batteries that it eats like candy, which I have not managed to do as of my recent move, and have at least one backup set on hand).

The good: When I got downstairs, I MOSTLY had my priorities in order. While it’s rather instinctual to want to go straight to the alarm panel and turn off the shrieking and howling, I ignored it and checked out the side door and door to the basement (the two points from which an attacker seems most likely to emerge) first, brandishing the gun at the ready. Then I scanned the living room, deck door and deck. Then I went into the kitchen and plugged the landline in so that I could take the call from the security company. The position in the kitchen by the phone jack is a decent defensible position.

The bad: I could/should have paid a little better attention to the following areas: the office, bathroom and closet (clustered together), the deck, and the kitchen (as I was rounding the counter.) It is possible for someone to break in via the office window and be either in there or in the bathroom or closet when I get downstairs. I didn’t turn my back to these areas, and I don’t think this was the time to search them thoroughly, but I think I mentally dismissed them as “probably safe” too hastily. Likewise the deck. There are a lot of windows, but there are still places on the deck where a person could stand/kneel and not be visible from inside. Kitchen- it is possible that a person could crouch behind the counter, and I should have swung a wider circle as I rounded the counter and had a scan before just charging in there.

The not-sure: It’s going to be a decision-making point whether to go to the kitchen and plug in the landline to take the call from the security company or not. If I fail to do so promptly, they will send the police. Nobody enjoys hauling the cops out, sirens wailing, for a false alarm (in your nightshirt). If I do so *TOO* promptly, and it turns out to be a real alarm, I will be hurrying to the kitchen and/or talking on the phone instead of focusing on my defense while the Bad Guy is lunging to kill me. I guess I will have to make this decision on the fly depending on how scared I am. In this case, since it was broad daylight and there had been that previous false alarm, I decided that I needed to find out if it was the garage sensor. If it was, it seemed reasonable to scale my Code Red down to Yellow. If it hadn’t been, my Code Red would have increased to
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REDREDREDREDREDREDRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Related: if I decide to not go take the phone call, it becomes another decision point whether to go downstairs at all (this is assuming I’m in bed when the alarm sounds). The bedroom is a defensible position. It would be difficult to get in through the upstairs windows. Any invader would likely have to come up at me via the “Chute Of Death” (ie the enclosed stairwell- thanks Rory Miller), where I could shoot down on him or shoot at him when he appeared in the bedroom doorway.

(Unrelated improvement point: it just occurred to me that as difficult as it would be for an intruder to come in upstairs, I likewise lack any plan for an alternate avenue of escape if there should be a fire blocking my route down the stairs. Need to address that. Should also take one of the two fire extinguishers upstairs and get a third one for the basement, maybe a fourth for the garage.)

Additional not-sure: It will be another decision point whether or not to go to the alarm panel and turn the noise off. In this case, once I found out it was that questionable garage sensor, I elected to do so at that time. If I should decide to simply remain in a more defensible position and let it wail, I won’t be able to hear the Bad Guy. (And vice versa- so I guess it’s even.)

Improvement point: once I found out that the alarm was the garage sensor, I decided to go out and have a look. The alarm company asked if I wanted the police. I said no, but could she call me back in 10 min? She said “Okay, we’ll disregard” and then said that she couldn’t call me back, but that I could call HER back. I capitulated, but in retrospect, this was a suboptimal plan. I should have been more firm about us not “disregarding” so hastily, and made a better plan for the remote yet unpleasant possibility of me getting attacked when I went out to check the garage. I wanted her to call me back in 10 min, and if I failed to answer, call the police. This is apparently not one of my options with this particular security service. But me calling HER back meant of course that I was on hold for twenty minutes. Maybe I should have asked her to stay on the line while I went out to check, and call the police if I didn’t come back on in 10 min. Or, if there was really no better option permissible, simply go ahead and summon the police. Better safe than sorry (dead). It would be really ironic if we “disregarded” the alarm, I got murdered when I went out to check the garage, and my disappearance didn’t get questioned until days later when I failed to show up at work.  I think I will try to address this question with someone at the security company.

The good: I think I handled the search and clear of the garage well. After scanning the two front doors, I went to the back door (which is windowed) and looked in. Then opened the smaller front door and did a dynamic clearing of the room.

The bad: Although the upstairs garage storage room has a door alarm- which didn’t go off- I didn’t even think to glance up there. I should have at least done a brief check of the door. And to make sure nobody was squatting up there on the rear garage deck to pounce on me as I was peering into the glass at the back door. That was dumb. I also should have had a peek behind the retaining wall. I had my back to it while I was examining the garage. That was dumb too.

The good: By this time, I was confident that it had been a false alarm, but I still did a search of the house before going back to bed.

The bad: it could have been a better search. I think that even though I felt confident, I probably should have checked *all* possible hiding places before going back to bed.

The Ugly: Although my brain was too busy and my hyper-vigilance over every tiny sound wouldn’t let me get any significant sleep after this whole thing was over, I did somehow manage to drop off for just long enough to have a dream about confronting an intruder in the house, shooting him and having my gun NOT GO OFF. Thank you for that, subconscious. I can always count on you for a confidence-building rah-rah just when I need it most.

Note: Insights offers a “dynamic room/building clearing” class, which I never found terribly intriguing for a civilian until yesterday- when I found myself having to search my home, gun in hand, looking for a possible intruder. Now I can see why I might need it.

Insights also offers a class on how to make your home more secure. That would be a good one to take as well.

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Weekend labors

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Intuition rarely fails. Not always- but almost always- you WILL get an alarm bell. What fails is our response to the bell. –Rory Miller

Saturday- I was determined to go to no-gi in Kirkland, but I felt like a brontosaurus was sitting on top of me wearing a suit of armor and holding an armload of elephants. Came so close to blowing it off, but forced myself into my gear and out the door. I was too late for the class, but did several rolls afterward- two with Dave, which is great. There was a new girl- she seems eager and was happy to play with me. Tried to be really careful of left shoulder, and asked everyone to be careful of it.

Dave is getting so awesome. He’s getting so Cindyesque. I’m impressed. And jealous.

Cindy ghosted through briefly, looking terrible. She looked like she had a STACK of armored brontosauri sitting on top of her.

After class, Boch and I climbed the Index Wall. Very steep climb, boggling views from the top. We made good steady time climbing, displayed decent cardio and decent mountain-goat ability, not too many stops. Knees of course were whooping with agony on the way down. Note that a walking stick would be helpful for the down climb on such a steep hike. Noting also that my lower back was bothering me a lot later that night. When my knees hurt, I tend to get very stiff-legged. It doesn’t help my knees, it only makes my lower back take a lot of extra jarring. I need to pay better attention and try to stop doing that.

After all that, I thought I’d sleep the sleep of the righteously exhausted… but the knees, lower back, and shoulder conspired with the traffic noise to give me a very very poor night. Thinking about getting a white noise machine. However, I’m very anxious about being able to hear Teddy bumping around if he starts to have a diabetic emergency while I’m in bed.

On Sunday, JB and I moved furniture. It was great to see her again. We worked very well together, at a brisk pace, and moved a lot of heavy things. We were getting tired and unamused by the time we were half done (the loading-up part), but we persevered stoically. The only thing we had to admit defeat on was the washing machine. That puppy really wants three able people to move it. We did, however, manage to move an old TV that felt like a freakin’ UHAUL full of armored brontosauri. My body did fairly well with all of this, the lower back loosened up and felt better, although I wanted to sob every time I descended from the high cab of the UHaul and my knees took the impact of hitting the ground.

When we were done, we went to the Mongolian Grill and stuffed our faces. I almost never go out to eat without taking a doggie bag, but today doggie was out of luck- I wolfed every crumb. After all that hard work, it tasted like one of the best meals ever.

Neckless

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…Violence… is the most international and oldest language there is. It is common to all societies. It is attached to the very fabric of life. Depending on their fighting ability, every animal on earth ends up taking on the role of predator or prey. Not only nearly all animals fight, but even the cells inside our bodies fight against germs and bacteria. No one who lives in a physical body can completely ignore the language of violence. Whether by choice or not, anyone may have to deal with it. -Daniele Bolelli, On The Warrior’s Path

Four black belts in the mat for Friday evening in Bellevue. Prof. Herbert is back. Not only that, he remembered my name. Happy to have him and his bag of little-guy tricks in the house again. Also fun- as always- to watch the Brazilians learning English. Today he learned “calf”.

Armbar from guard. Herbert used a cross tricep grip and a deep lapel grip. He observed that I fail to get my leg into the armpit firmly enough and also fail to bear down on the opponent with my shins (which second persistant problem of mine Cindy has oft commented on as well).

Failed armbar from guard, reach across opponent’s throat to grab your own ankle. This can end up as a choke, a crank, or a crushing of the bones around the eye socket, depending on how well you can get into position (or not). My drill partner had no neck (when I pointed this out to him, he cheerfully agreed that other classmates had complained of the same), so this fact combined with the extreme shortitude of my legs made this one a real problem. It was barely possible- on the stupid side only- by using my pants cuff (Doug informed me that I am allowed to put my fingers in my own pants cuff, which I was not aware was legal).

Same entry, but opponent defends by pulling the arm out. You paste hir OTHER arm to your chest, hip out and turn on your side, making sure to hook your toe behind hir neck. Bring the other foot over hir head and gogoplata. I loved this, although I’m probably not going to be able to retain it until it comes around another few times. I am inexperienced with the gogoplata. Prof. Herbert has shown another couple of gogoplata moves in the past. I think they will be great for me, they seem made for my shape and flexibility.

Positional sparring from closed guard. Then a roll with Doug and one with a blue belt guy whom I have worked with once before, but his name escapes me at the moment.

Right elbow continues to be painful and weak. It has been over two months. Left shoulder is even worse (just over a month on that one). I have been very careful on the mat and have asked all partners to be careful as well. Left shoulder is actually causing me a considerable amount of pain while trying to sleep. I wish these damn things would heal up already.

Ugly

It’s ugly. Really ugly.

The head instructor at GB Yakima has been arrested for having sex with an underage student. I don’t really know the guy… he came to class at the Seattle pod sometimes on weekends, so of course I saw him around and even shook his hand from time to time in line and at comps. Don’t think I ever rolled with him. As soon as I saw who it was, though, I had an immediate strong suspicion of who the student was. Someone I don’t know well enough and didn’t have enough contact with to be beating myself up about not having seen something, certainly…. and yet…… what does it say that I instantly thought, “OMG, it’s got to be ____”? I seriously have met her glancingly like two or three times in the space of five years. What does it say about the people who DID train regularly with these two? Why the fuck didn’t they see something? Say something? *DO* something? (I know, I’m pissed off and looking for targets to blame.)

GB put out a statement saying the instructor has been suspended, and that our hearts all go out to the survivor. I was relieved. I am aware that GB Pacific Northwest has a very lively drama department and gossip mill, but I tend to stay strictly out of that sort of thing, and open discussions about problem issues seem to be rare. I would have been really disturbed if there had been silence on the topic. Will be watching to see how this is handled. Going to be a painful, difficult mess for everyone, at any rate. None more so than the young lady. (Were there more???)

This is really awful. Sick to my stomach. Probably going to be ranting on this some more later.

Maybe not “everyone”, but at least one person….

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An assertive examination of the threat- not glaring in his eyes, but scanning and noting his stance, possible weapons and where his hands are- will help to discourage the threat. He must see you scanning and evaluating. It sends a signal. Simultaneously, check yourself. Make sure your hands are free and any weapons you have are accessible. Scan for the threat’s possible confederates and keep the threat in your peripheral vision. An experienced threat will notice you doing this and will have to move you into a different class of potential victim, preferably out of the victim category altogether. –Rory Miller

Friday evening BJJ in Bellevue under Prof. Doug.

Outside reap setups. Remembering that collar grip needs to be higher. Also, pushing with that fist against the jaw or neck makes a big difference. After not-gonna-admit-how-many years, it feels a little like I’m starting to coordinate the whole push/pull thing. A little.

Triangles from closed guard, transitioning through butterfly and a half-spider to get there.

Rolls with Christie, Prof Sean, Kevin, and a white belt guy that I know from Kirkland but his name escapes me.

Christie got two stripes on her belt tonight. She’s been working really hard, coming to a lot of classes, and doing great.

She also told me- after drilling- “I’m so happy when you come!” which gave me a warm fuzzie.

“Everybody”?

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Murder, rape and robbery are planned actions, and they will occur in a place that benefits the attacker. That is part of his job, and an experienced predator is good at his job. –Rory Miller

Thursday BJJ at Bellevue.

I got snipped at by Prof Carlos today for not pairing up with Christie first… which was not a planned action; it’s just that I had John sorta cornered because he was at the head of the line and I was 2nd, so it was easy to head him off. Carlos asked me to remember what it was like when I was a girl white belt and nobody wanted to work with me, which speech I would have totally related to if not for the fact that he was contrasting it with nowadays when (according to him) “everybody” wants to roll with me.

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????????????? He just snipped at me last Thursday for being the last person standing alone four or five times in a row while we were doing short rotating spars. In what alternate reality am I not still struggling with this issue too much to be worrying excessively about the person on the other side of the room struggling with this issue? There have been times that I’ve gone to the other side of the room to roll with the white belt girls only to find them paired up by the time I got over there.

I did manage to stammer that that was not really my assessment of the situation, but I could tell where he was going with the conversation, so I just said Yes Sir and zipped my lip.

Positional sparring from closed guard, rotating partners. Then a roll with Christie, who is doing very very well.

Z got his purple belt! :)

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Savor the rend. -SavageKitsune

Saturday BJJ in Seattle. I came in just for “comp class”, but Prof. Carlos misses nothing- I crept behind several dozen people to sit on the wall, and the next thing I know they’re all turning around to stare at me because he’s waving me onto the mat.

Promotions. At some point before today, Reuben was promoted to black. Today, Steven and Jimmy Lee were promoted to black. A few browns, purples (including Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), blues, lots of white stripes.

Comp class today was not positional sparring nor KOTH, but all 8-min spars. Well worth coming into today, as I got three black belts in a row. Also a 4 stripe white belt woman, and Pat (no-gi).

I got a couple of sweeps on the white belt, which was very nice.

I came home and posted Barney pics on Z’s Facebook wall.

Hike!

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It is better to avoid than to run, better to run than to de-escalate, better to de-escalate than to fight, better to fight than to die. –Rory Miller

Lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Back-and-forth single-leg setups, judo grips. We all got reprimanded for not having the collar grip hand high enough. If you let it slide down to opponent’s chest (and this is easy to do after a Brazilian reps, even if you started out with a nice high grip), they can wristlock you.

Standing spider guard pass drills

Standing guard pass to KOB to spinning armbar

I grabbed John to drill with, but Carlos took him away from me and gave me Danny (which was fine), then took HIM away from me and gave me Pedro, which was less fine. Pedro is about 13, and has been here long enough to learn good pressure and some wicked subs but not long enough to learn the concept of drilling (ie, let your partner execute the drill), or that you need to be careful how hard you thump down on the ribcage of a classmate old enough to be your mother.

King of the Hill from standing up in opponent’s guard

Rotating short spars with many people, starting from butterfly guard.

After class, a two hour hike up a mountain and back down again. Including the copious stairs of a very tall fire lookout tower at the top. I did fine on the way up, but coming down is hell on my patello-femoral sydrome knees. They are gonna be screaming in the morning. But holy cow there is a lot of gorgeous scenery up here. And hiking is such good exercise. Especially when you take along a trash bag and pick up the garbage that utter and complete assholes insist on throwing all over a beautiful piece of nature when they come to visit.

When I got home, there was additional heart-racing cardio in store when I saw a sheriff parked in my driveway. Turns out the alarm in my garage had gone off- but we found no signs of an intruder, so it appears to have been a false alarm.

Friday Open Mat

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’This is my way; where is yours?’ – thus I answered those who asked me “the way.’ For the way- that does not exist. –Nietzsche

Friday night open mat in Kirkland.

Rolled gi with Chelsea, then no-gi with Chelsea, Cord, Terry, Wei, Mike, what’s-his-name (Cindy always calls him “Harry Potter”). Tried to move more, but got tired quickly and fell into old habits- especially when trapped on the bottom.
Chelsea’s shoulder pressure is murderous. Almost had to tap a couple times just from that.

I got a paper cutter on Cord, and came really close to finishing a few assorted chokes on other people, but mostly I was the one tapping. This is a skilled batch of people.

Sore this morning. Bad elbow, OTHER shoulder (at least I’m in symmetrical pain), grips, knees.

Thank you for showing up.

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Absence is the most efficient survival strategy. –Rory Miller

Thursday lunchtime BJJ in Bellevue.

Taking nearly a month off class does not appear to have had any effect on my injured elbow. It was a bit worse after the tournament. I’m frustrated with it, but I guess it’s time to just suck it up and keep going, working around it as best as possible.

Drilled with a new woman- Christy. She’s already got some really good basics. She informed me that she had “HEARD of me”. Geez. Cindy was present today, and immediately proceeded to tell Christy all about how I like to neck-crank little kids.

Butterfly guard. You grab opponent’s ankles. Place left foot in hir rt hip. Turn on your right hip and pull hir left leg crossways across your lap. Your right knee should be under this leg. Curl up and scoot in terribly close, low, as if you are trying to crawl right up hir butt. Do not let go of the ankle. Once you are tucked right up in there, you can let go of the ankle and grab the back of hir belt. Technical lift to get your leg in position to take the back.

You standing, opponent on hir back with feet up. You swipe hir left foot to the side and step your right foot to hir left hip. Hike up on one leg and paste your bent left leg against hir left leg, right under the knee. Fall onto your right hip. Pinch knees together, opponent’s leg between them. Grab the pantleg. Tripod up, in a sort of KOB position, only you are KOT (knee on thigh). Keep the shin, and pressure down on the thigh to keep them there. Grab the near lapel. When s/he pushes back, pull the leg, turn your hip and go to side control.

I was at first grabbing the far lapel, as I generally like to do, and Prof. Carlos came over to correct me.

Kitsune: “Why don’t I want to hold the far lapel?”
Carlos: “You want to try eet on me?”
Kitsune: “NO.”

Christy was kind enough to rescue me at that point by setting up an armbar to demo why you don’t want to hold that lapel, and I’m sure she did it much gentler than Carlos would have. I thanked her humbly.

Christy had a brace on her ankle, so I was being extra careful, but Carlos still came over to warn me to fall on my HIP and not my back, so as not to injure her. He even started to suggest that I switch to the other side, but she demurred. Now, I’m very happy that he is diligent about looking out for everyone’s safety, especially the women. But it irritates me and hurts my feelings when he acts like he thinks I’m going to injure people by being careless. I know Cindy’s just giving me crap when she does this- she knows that I’m very careful and I am extremely safe for anyone to work with. I can’t help thinking that that *ONE* time that I accidentally extended Kelly’s elbow a bit too much and she yelped during drills has burned into his mind that I’m unsafe. That was a very, very, VERY isolated incident in a long history of safe martial arts partnering, and she was *FINE*. I wish we could put that in the past. I don’t like feeling that Carlos regards me as an unsafe partner.

Several rounds of positional sparring from butterfly guard. Then one round with Christy and one with Nelson. Nice to see him again. He has cracked his floating ribs. He actually went to the doctor, so you know it hurts pretty damn bad.

When we lined up to bow out, Carlos thanked a number of people for a number of different things, and then added, “Thank you Keetsune, for showing up.” Blush.