Tapping out to the Urgent Care Physician

JB bailed on me for Saturday noon no-gi, so I went by myself. We worked on the same cool takedown from last night, and then the complicated guillotine-to-taking-the-back sequence. Then an alternate ending for that sequence- turning it into a gator roll which ended up in a weird half-guard neck-crank thing. It was complicated, but it was really cool. I love the gator rolls. I haven’t worked on them before, but I can’t wait to play with them some more.

There wasn’t time for much free sparring today, and I didn’t get to fight Leah, but I did a few short spars with Crystal and Eric. Crystal’s BF was there with a videocam, and he took my e-mail so that he can send me the footage. I didn’t do very well- I’m so awful in no-gi- but I did get one nice reversal. Anyway, what I really need to see are the weaknesses anyway.

I got back in the car, glanced in the rearview and noticed that my left ear looked exactly like pbucch’s first photo in this thread:


I was quite dismayed, especially since I currently have no health insurance. I waffled about just leaving it- but I hear that this often does not just go away, and the treatment gets a lot more complex after you’ve let it go. So I went to the Urgent Care.

After waitng a few years, I got checked in… waited a few more years, then got an exam room. A couple years later, a PA came in to take my BP and temp. Then a decade or so later, the doc came in and looked at the ear. Then I had to wait several CENTURIES for another exam room down the hall to open up, because the table in my exam room was oriented wrong for the doc to deal with my left side.

She produced two long, thin metal skewers and stabbed one along my jawline till I thought the end would pop out of my forehead. The second skewer shish-kebobbed my skull a little further back. This was supposed to numb up the area. It hurt quite a bit more than the original injury. They let me marinade for a while, then came in and packed a bunch of gauze around the side of my head to catch the ocean of blood. The doc picked up a scalpel that looked to me like a giant machete. She poked at my ear, and I said with some alarm, "I can FEEL that," She replied, "Don’t worry, you’ll feel me touching you, but not the cutting." The she proceeded to start carving me up. After a minute, I said, "That hurts quite a bit." So she double-shish-kebobbed me again (at which point I kind of wished I’d just kept my mouth shut). This likewise did nada. As she returned to the slicing and dicing and squeezing, and I gripped the siderails of the exam table till I thought I would bend the metal, she commented, "That didn’t do a very good numbing job, did it?" "No, ma’am, it did not." I watched her pass handfuls of blood-soaked gauze across the table to the PA. Then they packed the ear and wrapped my entire head in ace bandages so that I look like a car crash victim.

I have to leave the bandage on my head all weekend, and go back there on Monday after work for a follow-up. This is going to make me miss JM’s second BJJ class on Monday night. I’m also going to be impaired for a while to some degree, as far as rolling. Hopefully I will at least be able to do drills with SK on his first class Wednesday night. My new colleagues are going to pee their scrubs when I walk in on Monday morning with my head wrapped up like a mummy. It seemed like such a little thing! Holy crap. I guess I will need to invest in some headgear. I hate wearing stuff like that. But I do NOT want to ever go through this again. This sucketh mightily.


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